Often, (cliche alert!) two heads can be better than one, and writing with others can bring fresh ideas and enriching perspectives to our music. It can also inspire us to push through our musical comfort zones to try something new. I've recently started co-writing with songwriters in my musical circle here in Surrey/White Rock, BC, and so far have had really great experiences. There is something magic about creating with others, starting with a story or a grain of an idea and then bringing a new piece of music into existence together. I was excited to see that our final task of the Six Songs in Six Weeks Songwriting Challenge would be to write a song with one or more of the other participants. Lily and Christopher were kind enough to give us an extra week's notice on this challenge so that we could organize collaboration partners and the logistics that go with working together over long distances.

For this week, I had the privilege and absolute pleasure of working with Northern Ontario singer-songwriter, Robyn Dewar. My previous co-writing experience has involved being in the same room with the other writer(s), so I wasn't sure how this would work, since we live on opposite sides of the country. After a couple of emails exploring a possible theme, we made contact over the phone and what I thought would just be a brainstorming session quickly evolved into a first verse, second verse, chorus and in under two hours we had a song! Robyn and I worked really well together -- our personalities meshed so well and I felt comfortable sharing ideas and warbling out tentative lines as we explored the concept of "Borrowed Time." I felt like it was a collaboration in every sense of the word, with each of us working in service of the song.

Robyn had the idea, which we each did some advance free writing on. We spent some time sharing our thoughts on the themes of not having enough time, 'wasting' time on things that don't matter in the long-run, and being so short of time that we have to impose on the time of others (being late, asking for help, etc..). Robyn related a story that got us thinking about the concept of time as money. It's an interesting parallel. Just as the financial economy is strained and people struggle to make ends meet, our personal and collective economies of time are also under pressure. We have to spend time making a living, yes. But we are also inundated with information, details, requests for our attention (a lot of it through the multimedia that is all around us), and many of us spread ourselves too thin, running from one activity to the next, never really having or taking the time to slow down and savour the moment. I know I've certainly been feeling like that lately. We have to be more and more discerning about where we spend our time, where we put our focus.

In the end we are all on 'borrowed time' -- ultimately, we have no control of or knowledge of how much time we are granted on this earth. "Tick tock, tick tock." But we do have power over how we choose to spend a lot of our time. While we were writing, I was reminded of T.S. Eliot's poem, "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock," in which the protagonist muses, "In a minute there is time/ For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse." I know it's taken out of context, but it makes me think of how a lot of people (myself included), spend huge amounts of time thinking about doing things, worrying, acting it out in our heads, considering all possible angles, weighing possible consequences, etc...yet, in a minute, in a moment, whatever we choose to do could be changed by something which is completely out of our control. The second verse alludes to this. What amazing things could we have noticed and experienced in the time it takes us to agonize over our customized Starbuck's order? Just one example from many that we mused over.

As I mentioned above, we wrote the song together over the phone on Tuesday. I cobbled together a work tape on my iPhone and sent it to Robyn. She called me back on Wednesday with a couple of edits. A few emails were exchanged in between. I recorded the lead vocal and acoustic guitar here in BC using Garageband on my Mac. Robyn has been recording with her friend, Jody, who also has a Mac, so (after a bit of research) I was able to share the in-process project with him via OneDrive. I uploaded it to the site and he was able to download it onto his computer so that Robyn could add her tracks. I am still shaking my head at the fact that we were able to do this with over 3000 km in between us! Three cheers for technology!

I am thrilled with how positive this experience was and feel so privileged to have been able to work with Robyn. I feel like I've made a new friend and I'm so proud of what we have accomplished - together!

And so we've come to the end of the challenge. I remember the moment when I clicked the button to sign up, the sinking feeling of "Oh-oh, what am I getting myself into?" It WAS difficult, but the benefits of this experience far outweigh all of the stress. I have 'met' some incredibly talented songwriters from across Canada, benefited from the constructive conversations taking place in our Facebook group and the great advice offered by Christoper Ward. The weekly assignments were excellent exercises and I know I have developed as a writer from participating in them. But I think the most important thing that I have learned is that I can do this -- I can make writing a bigger part of my life, even with my 'day job' and family commitments. The key is doing it EVERY DAY, and I have proven to myself that it is possible. So, no more excuses ; )

Many thanks to Christopher Ward, Lily Cheng, and the Songwriters Association of Canada for offering this opportunity. And thank you to my family and friends for your support and understanding!


Here is our song!

Borrowed Time
© Robyn Dewar and Kelly McQuillan 2014

Am    E7   Am   E7

Am                            E7
Hey mister, can you spare me some time?
Am                            E7
Just need an hour or two
Dm                                         Am
My cup’s overflowing and my pockets are bare
Dm                                 E7
Won’t you help me get through

Am                             E7
Trivial decisions and constant revisions
Am                         E7
Stealing my time away
                 Dm                        Am
So many places to go, and information to know
          Dm                             E7
What flavour do I want my latte?

Am                         E7
Tick tock tick tock borrowed time
Am                        E7
I wish that I could hit rewind
Am                        E7
Stop living off this borrowed time
Am            E7
Borrowed time

There aren’t enough hours in my day
To meet all the demand
Pay, pay, pay the time man cries
As he throws out his hands

Chorus

Bridge:
Dm7             
My father always warned me
Am
Not to squander it away
Dm7
Sow your seconds wisely
        E7
And time will be repaid

Chorus

Am        
Give me a second
                  E7
Could you give me a few
Am
Give me a moment
E7
How ‘bout two
Am            E7
Borrowed time
Am             E7

Oh....my.....goodness....Some advice -- never, EVER, get married and try to write/record a song in the same week. This has been absolutely crazy. My song for this week, "Love in the Mirror," is raw, raw, raw. As in, I finished it this afternoon, raw. Writing the lyrics was one thing, but recording it almost led to a nervous breakdown (just kidding...pretty much...). We have family visiting from back east, the kids are on Spring Break, the dogs thought it would be fun to bark, and there have been giant trucks rumbling up and down the road beside my house for the entire day. Now that it's recorded in its entirely, I can almost laugh about the fact that, during one particularly enjoyable hour, every time I got to the second verse of recording, one of these trucks would thunder on by...nearly without fail. The backing-up beeps were a special bonus. It may have helped me in the end, adding the necessary angst and weariness to augment the lyrics...Locking myself in the closet also helped accomplish this superhuman feat, as it muffled the noise and kept the cats at bay. Let me just say...I am immensely proud of myself for getting this done, if not particularly proud of the song. I want to let it sit for a while and come back to it with fresh, unstressed ears.

That said, we had a lovely wedding on Saturday and I'm very happy with how all the planning came to fruition on the day. Watching different friend groups and family happily intermingle for the first time was awesome. We are surrounded by beautiful souls who bring so much positivity into our lives, and for that I am so grateful. ♥

So, our challenge for this week was to tap into our subconscious through free writing each day for at least 10 minutes and then to mine that for song ideas. This is actually one of my preferred techniques, although I think it worked against me this week because my brain was so cluttered with wedding plans. A lot of those made it into my writing, but I did manage to find glimmers of different ideas and then ran with one of them.  The song I came up with is about how some people search and search for happiness through so many different avenues, exhausting themselves in the process, when really (I think) it boils down to accepting yourself, loving yourself, and allowing yourself to follow your passions fully, without doubt and negative talk. As a friend of mine says, "People are their own worst enemies." It's like there is a little demon of doubt that resides inside each of us, trying to thwart us when we begin to open up to our potential. I know several people, including myself, who struggle with this. It's a process of daily affirmation to overcome this negativity -- looking yourself in the mirror and recognizing you are worthy of happiness and success. Oh my, I just remembered an old Saturday Night Live sketch (below). Now I've gone and satirized my own song. Ah well. This is what happens when I'm exhausted.

Some of the other "ideas" that surfaced in my stream of consciousness writing this week included:

        ~ *surprise* Getting Married (without illusions, knowing that hard times will come, as surely as the good times, and it's your bond              that will see you through)

        ~ talk vs. action

        ~ toxic people and how you need to free yourself from them

       ~ Over-analysis vs. living in the moment

     

LOVE IN THE MIRROR
© Kelly McQuillan 2014

Lately she’s been thinking about leaving
Following the pull of her restless heart
Leave this all behind and make an easy start
But there’s something holding on

Searching round in circles till she falls
Hasn’t brought her any closer to her call
The spring in her step has crumbled to a crawl
Cause there’s something holding on

        Stop running, my friend
        The darkness can’t catch you when you let the light shine in
        And there’ll be nothing to fear
        When you find your love in the mirror

She’s read about all that she can take
Cried until she’s ready to break
Pulled her dreams apart strand by strand
Trying to find what’s holding on

Wandering the wilds for a sign
Not following her own design
Pulling up her roots before her branches get to climb
Trying to shake what’s holding on

        Stop running, my friend
        The darkness can’t catch you when you let the light shine in
        And there’ll be nothing to fear
        When you find your love in the mirror

I wish that you could see through my eyes
See the soul that glows like a fresh sunrise
If you could break the fingers of the doubt you hold inside
And let yourself become

        Stop running, my friend
        The darkness can’t catch you when you let the light shine in
        And there’ll be nothing to fear
        When you find your love in the mirror
        Cause you’re shining so clear

As we all know, music is full of time-worn phrases and themes.  I try to the best of my ability to steer clear of them in my writing. When I first saw this week's assignment I was filled with apprehension -- we were being asked to embrace what I'd been avoiding and "Rock the Cliche!" <Gulp>

I didn't know where to start and faced the dreaded BLANK PAGE for a couple of days. Panic began to set in. I reflected on my own music collection, I listened intently to the radio, I found some humorous parody videos and lists about musical and literary cliches, and read some music blogs and articles. I discovered some interesting things in my research, not least of which is that using cliches isn't necessarily a sign of weakness -- it all depends on how you use them. Cliches, used in unique or interesting ways, can actually increase the pull of your song. Familiarity draws people in, and then you give them a fresh way to think about something. This helps to make a song memorable. At least, it does for me.  I think that's why I enjoy alt-country so much -- songwriters doing something fresh with traditional forms and idioms.

So this is what I tried to do this week. I took a cliched idea -- I was lost until I found you -- and I tried to turn it into a song about how you need to love yourself first before you can have a truly fulfilling relationship. Sometimes, in order to find this love for yourself, you need to 'lose' the relationship, especially if it's a negative one. So the idea and hook became: I couldn't find my way until I lost you.

I also used some (OK, a lot of) cliched imagery -- road ahead/ burning out lantern/ rose-coloured, etc......and a couple of expressions, "They say that....," which I tried to subvert.

I even rhymed "blue" and "you" *gasp*

And the genre I chose to write in...(I know, shocker) is Country. At first it was very cowboy/campfire in 6/8 time, but the cliche was overwhelming, so I changed up the rhythm and sped it up a bit.

To be honest, although I'm not particularly proud of it, I actually ended up having a lot of fun with this song. Last night I tracked it all on my iPad and (although I'm still having earphone cord issues and have to buy an extender to eliminate noise) I'm pretty happy with how it turned out sonically. Just needs a train rhythm with brushes on a snare. ; )

The cartoon pictured above is by Jack Jordan, a former artist for the Chicago Sun-Times.

Lost and Found
© Kelly McQuillan 2014

Knew there was something missing
As I looked down the road
Knew I needed someone to keep me
From freezing in the cold

I stumbled along through my days
Feeling a path through the mist
My lantern was burned nearly through
Thirsting for the light of your kiss

        I was so alone
        Confused and in the blue
        I couldn't find my way
        Until I lost you

They say that two become one
But I felt more like twenty-four
Changed so many times to suit you
Forgot my ego at the door

They say that love conquers all
And there were times you conquered me good
But for all of my rose-coloured dreams
You didn't love me as much as I could

        I was so alone
        Confused and in the blue
        I couldn't find my way
        Until I lost you

These days I walk my path
Without doubt, without fear
Because the only sweet love I need
Greets me each day in the mirror
With a love light that shines so clear.

        I was so alone
        Confused and in the blue
        I couldn't find my way
        Until I lost you

Antennas Up!

This week’s challenge was to improve my writers’ antennae by becoming a conscious observer for 10 minutes each day in a different place. Gifting myself the time to do this amidst a very busy week of work, shuttling the kids to their activities, finalizing details for our upcoming wedding (in 3 weeks - could I have timed this better?) etc...proved almost more difficult than the actual task of writing a song. Like many writers, I always keep a notebook with me wherever I go, and it definitely came in handy this week. On days when I was able to carve out the time, I recorded my observations/reflections as free writes, which I’ve included here to provide a glimpse inside the musings of my mind (I apologize in advance). On the hurried days, I just jotted down an idea or two for future pondering.

Observations:

Day 1 ~ listening to my fiancé help his son with homework

Fathers and sons, communication, hard to be faced with yourself. Seeing yourself in a child and worrying about them, scared that they will go through the same struggles you went through. Possibly wanting to jump in and save them from themselves, but it is our mistakes and how we deal with them that make us who we are, help us learn. When to assist and when to let go -- enable or tough love? When to be firm like a rock and when to bend (give) in the wind. *striking a balance between the two** I was so busy trying to be your rock I forgot how to bend in the wind.
Or, a father trying to not be like his father. Trying to be more attentive, understanding, forcing patience when it has run out. Title: Not Him. But realizing in the end that there were things about his dad that were really valuable and special. Traits he wants to emulate.
He’s a great dad - list the things that make him one. How my heart melts to see him being such a great dad.

Day 2 ~ sitting in the car in the parking lot of my step-daughter’s dance studio, waiting to pick her up after ballet.

Parents waiting - what are they doing while they wait? Making lists, checking facebook, pondering what they wish they had done in their lives? What does how people wait say about them? The car is freezing and snow is on the ground, light spilling down from the studio. I know my step-daughter is up there, twirling, leaping, dancing on her toes. So graceful. It makes me wish I had taken dance as a child and then I might be more comfortable in my own skin.

I start thinking of the Ken Robinson story of the little girl who couldn’t sit still at school and was taken to the doctor. The doctor realized she had nothing wrong with her -- she was a dancer. They enrolled her in dance and she became a world-famous ballerina. Finding your passion.

How many kids find their escape in dance? Let the hurts and challenges of the day fly off as they spin, like water off the clothes in a spin cycle. They must feel the weight of the world lift from their shoulders as they lose themselves in the magic of music and the meditation of movement. How much better would we all feel if we could just let it all go and dance our days away? Not worry about anyone watching. I think of Van Morrison’s song, “Ballerina,” and the way he describes her as “spreading her wings.” I also think of the quote, “Dance as if no one is watching” and I envy the dancers upstairs their freedom to move without inhibition.  

*******************************************************************************
Now, here’s where my week got crazy. No more time for extended free-writes...

Day 3 ~ sitting on a bench at Crescent Beach just before sunset.

I had hoped to be able to catch snippets of conversation as people walked by, but there was hardly anyone there! Just people like me:

    The gloaming time   
    Solitary souls lined on benches
    Offering their valediction to the day
    Together in our lonesomeness, locked in our contemplations.

    An eagle soars over, silent as the setting sun. 

City in the distance, far off rumble of traffic, like grumbling thunder. All alone, but surrounded. Mournful cry of a loon. Waves lap. Gravel crunches as a jogger resumes his run after seeing off the sun.

Day 4 ~ in line at the paint store, the clerk is on the phone:

    “It’s definitely not grey” ~ seeing something for what it is. Sometimes situations are black and white. Sometimes you have to call something for what it is. A lot of people get by, hiding in grey.

    “A picture won’t do it justice” ~ some things you have to see for yourself...

Day 5 ~ overheard at a local cafe:

    “No, I don’t know you. I’ve never seen you before” ~ despite a man insisting they knew each other. What’s the story there?


The idea about the dancers stuck with me and ended up being what I wrote about. The idea of letting go, on your own, when no one is looking, and freeing yourself from the weight of worry that we all get from time to time.

Like Nobody's There
© Kelly McQuillan 2014

Sitting silently in the cold
Silhouettes pirouette on the freshly fallen snow
Painting the white with a warm moving light
On this dark February night

Long day arresting upon her soul
She sighs and she trudges the stairs all alone
Dragging her drudges, her eyes ringed with smudges
On a dark February night

    She turns the stereo on
    Cues it up to her favourite song
    Spreads her fine wings
    And spins till she's loose at the seams
    A dance that no one ever sees

This skin that we're in can feel heavy and old
Make us yearn for the days that our youth wasn't sold
Out to the doubts, when the future glowed bright
Even on cold winter nights

What if we all could surrender the fight
Let go of the questions and let in the light
Far from the eyes that we hide from inside
Every night of our lives

    Turn the stereo on
    Cue it up to my favourite song
    I'll spread these fine wings
    And I'll spin my way back to my dreams
    As I dance for no one else but me.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For recording, I made my first attempt at multi-tracking on an iPad, and it's pretty sad. I need to do some research on how to achieve better sound quality (and actually use Garageband properly). My earphone chord kept making noise, so there are some crackling sounds. Just pretend it's an old vinyl. A few takes bit the dust when my dog started snoring, too - lol. Ah, the joys of home recording on a budget.

Here's the Soundcloud link